Life story and family memories: guides to keeping what matters

Where to start

Most people begin with one person and one afternoon. A grandparent who is happy to talk, a parent who keeps boxes of photographs, or your own memories before they blur. The guides below follow that order: choose a person, ask good questions, keep what is said, then decide what to make of it.

If you want a first step that takes an hour, start with the guide to questions for a grandparent. If you would rather write than talk, start with the guide to writing a memoir. If what you hold is objects, such as recipes, letters and photographs, start with the pages on saving and organising them.

Ways to keep a memory

A memory can be kept in many forms: a recorded conversation, a handwritten page, a recipe card with the stains still on it, a letter, a photograph with names written on the back. Each form has strengths. Recordings keep a voice. Written pages are easy to read and to edit. Objects carry their own history.

Whatever the form, three habits help. Write the date and the names down at once, because they are the first things forgotten. Keep the original and work from a copy. And ask the person whether they are comfortable with what you plan to share, before you share it.

Respect, privacy and consent

A life story belongs to the person who lived it. The guides on these pages treat consent as part of the method: ask before you record, explain who will see the result, and let the person leave out anything they prefer to keep private. Family stories also involve other people, living and dead, so think about who else is named.

These guides are about memories and family history. They are not a substitute for professional advice on health, legal or financial matters, and nothing here diagnoses or treats any condition.

Memory by Chutex

Chutex offers Memory, a service in preparation in which Aria, an artificial intelligence, helps a person tell their life story, keeps the memories they choose to share and can prepare a book that they review together. See the Memory page for the United States for a plain description of the service. Memory does not diagnose anything and does not replace a health professional.

You do not need any service to follow these guides. Everything here works with a notebook, a phone and an unhurried conversation.

All guides in this topic

• Family history book: how to make one, with a 40-page template

  A 40-page template, a records route and a way to keep facts and stories apart.

• How to make a family recipe book, from handwritten cards to a finished book

  Collect, test, scan and lay out the recipes your family actually cooks.

• How to write a memoir: focus, outline, prompts, legal basics and ghostwriter rates

  A plan you can finish: pick a focus, outline it, write two pages a week.

• Legacy letter: what to write, a simple format and three examples

  A letter of values and thanks for your family, with a format, prompts and examples.

• Memory book for grandparents: how to choose one, help fill it out or make your own

  Choose a book, set up a gentle routine and finish it together.

• Questions to ask your grandparents: 60 good ones, and how to run the interview

  Sixty questions by life stage, and a plan to record the answers.

• Time capsule ideas: what to put in, how to seal it and when to open it

  What to put in a time capsule, and how to keep it safe until opening day.

• How to write a memoir with AI: what works, what fails and who owns the text

  Use AI as an interviewer and an editor, not as the author of your life.

Words you will meet on these pages

Memoir

A written account of events the author lived and remembers.

Oral history

A recorded interview that preserves what a person remembers in their own voice.

Family history

The record of a family across generations, including names, places, dates and stories.

Legacy letter

A letter written to be read later by family, to pass on values, wishes or memories.

Time capsule

A collection of items and messages sealed to be opened on a future date.

How these guides are made

Each guide is written for readers in the United States. It uses American units and sources such as the National Institutes of Health, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other named institutions. Every figure carries a numbered source with the date it was read. Prices of devices are read from the maker's own page on the day written and dated in the table.

Health topics carry the line “Medical review in progress.” until a qualified reviewer has checked the page. The pages do not replace advice from a health professional. In a medical emergency in the United States, call 911.

Frequently asked questions