Memories and life story: guides to keeping what matters

Where to start

Most people begin with one person and one afternoon: a grandparent who is happy to chat, a parent with boxes of photographs, or your own memories before they blur. The guides below follow that order. Choose a person, ask good questions, keep what is said, then decide what to make of it.

If you want a first step that takes an hour, start with the guide to questions for a grandparent. If you would rather write than talk, start with the guide to writing a memoir. If what you hold is objects, such as recipes, letters and photographs, start with the pages on saving and organising them.

Ways to keep a memory

A memory can be kept in many forms: a recorded conversation, a handwritten page, a recipe card with the stains still on it, a letter, a photograph with names written on the back. Each form has strengths. Recordings keep a voice. Written pages are easy to read and to edit. Objects carry their own history.

Whatever the form, three habits help. Write the date and the names down at once, because they are the first things forgotten. Keep the original and work from a copy. And ask the person whether they are comfortable with what you plan to share, before you share it.

What each guide covers

The guide to writing a memoir is the longest. It takes you from a rough list of scenes to a finished draft, and explains what changes if the book is meant for strangers rather than family. The guide to questions for grandparents is the gentlest way in: it sorts questions by theme and by visit, so that you can stop whenever the conversation tires.

Two guides look at writing your own story. One is a plain walk through the job for anyone who has never tried it. The other looks at how artificial intelligence tools can fit in, and where they should not. The family history book guide turns what you have gathered into a book of a set length, and the memory book guide is written for giving a grandmother a book of her own. The recipe guide is for the dishes that live in someone's hands, and the time capsule guide is for a box meant to be opened years from now.

How to use the guides in order

You do not have to read all eight. A sensible order is questions first, because nothing else works without a person talking; then the guide that matches what you want to make, whether that is a memoir, a family history or a recipe book. Keep the guide to AI and the time capsule guide for later, when you know what you have.

Work in short sessions and keep a single folder, paper or digital, for everything you collect. Come back to the guides when you reach a new stage, rather than reading everything at the start.

Respect, privacy and consent

A life story belongs to the person who lived it. The guides on these pages treat consent as part of the method: ask before you record, explain who will see the result, and let the person leave out anything they would rather keep private. Family stories also involve other people, living and dead, so think about who else is named.

These guides are about memories and family history. They are not a substitute for professional advice on health, legal or financial matters, and nothing here diagnoses or treats any condition.

Memory by Chutex

Chutex offers Memory, a service in preparation in which Aria, an artificial intelligence, helps a person tell their life story, keeps the memories they choose to share and can prepare a book that they review together. See the Memory page for the United Kingdom for a plain description of the service. Memory does not diagnose anything and does not replace a health professional.

You do not need any service to follow these guides. Everything here works with a notebook, a phone and an unhurried chat.

All guides in this topic

• How to write a memoir: focus, outline, scenes, living people, copyright and legal deposit

  Pick one slice of your life, plan it in scenes and write a little each week.

• Questions to ask your grandparents about their life: a session plan and question lists

  Four short visits, two questions each, and lists you can pick from by stage of life.

• Write your life story: routes, a template with prompts, photographs and sharing

  Five ways to do it, a theme-based template and prompts you can start tonight.

• Can AI help you write your life story? What to check, what to keep and what UK law says

  Three levels of AI help, what stays yours, a checklist before you share and the copyright position so far.

• Family history book: a 40-page template, UK records, honest labelling and photographs

  A 40-page plan that adds up, the UK records to start with and a way to keep facts and stories apart.

• Memory book for grandma: formats, a three-visit plan, questions and photographs

  Which kind of book suits her, three visits to fill it, and questions that get real answers.

• Family recipe book: collecting, writing down, a recipe-card template and care of old cards

  How to gather the recipes, catch the ones nobody wrote down and put the story beside each dish.

• Time capsule ideas: what to put in, a packing list by opening date and a register sheet

  What to put in, what to leave out, and a register so nobody forgets what is inside.

Words you will meet on these pages

Memoir

A written account of events the author lived and remembers.

Oral history

A recorded interview that preserves what a person remembers in their own voice.

Family history

The record of a family across generations, including names, places, dates and stories.

Legacy letter

A letter written to be read later by family, to pass on values, wishes or memories.

Time capsule

A collection of items and messages sealed to be opened on a future date.

Frequently asked questions